Volume One
Year of Captivity:  2003
Dear Diary,

Today I overhead my opressors saying they have signed an agreement to buy another house.  My God!  How many homes do these two need?  First I move from one small dwelling to another (THEY call them apartments) and finally settle in a nice home in what the one calls 'the city house.'  Then, without any care to me out to some 'country condo' as if I had NO rights at all.  Now another move seems to be on the horizon - I can only hope the FUR BALL passes soon so I can put a stop to this abusive moving around.


Well, I was able to get a quick look at my new home...I must admit it looks rather nice.  I can not wait now to get this move over with so I can start exploring my new digs.  I will be sure to let you know all the great corners I found to pee in ...


Holy hairballs!  I just overheard Dan and Dave saying they found what looks like a small grave under the front porch!  Through a small sealed door in the basement was an access to the dirt foundation of the front porch where a 3 foot cross was found.  Could this be my fait?  Oh "FUR BALL"  you must pass soon.


Well, well, well my kitties (sorry...little cat humor there) it looks like things are really moving along now at the new house - er Berkeley House.  It has been so nice an quiet around here recently since Dave & Dan have signed on the new house and are now working hard at removing carpet, painting and performing a sterilization of the house that would make an operating room cleaner take note.  I watched Dan the other night send out an email invite to half the known world for a wine and dixie cup party this Saturday, April 19th from 4PM until the last person gets a chance to snoop around the new digs.  I just have one thing I MUST point out to you...out of ALL the invitations sent do you think I got one?  NOPE!  FUR BALL !  FUR BALL ! FUR BALL !


Oh my poor kitties...has it really been a whole month since we last had a nice little catnap  (chat in human talk) together?  I understand that the house is just zipping along faster than I can indoctrinate a fresh litter box!  I recently overheard (my fabulous oppressors will not talk directly to me on these matters) that the entire first floor has been sanded and the wood is responding very well.  I also heard that a substantial amount of progress has been made removing years of old paint on the various wood moldings, trim and doors downstairs in preparation for a fresh, and I am sure fabulous, new color.  I for one still don’t understand what was wrong with the nice PINK that already existed…I guess there is just no accounting for taste.  Dan was hissing at Dave last night too about this dork that made some web page for them…I guess there are a ton of new photos that are ready to be posted to the website but have yet to appear.  As I have always known, good help is so hard to find.

Well Kitties, that is all for now.  Keep your pads clean of litter, you fur nice and shinny and your humans well trained in the fine art of face rubs and back massages.  Hope to catnap with you again soon.  Ta Ta


HELLOOOOoooooo my Kitties!  How have you been?  It has been so long since we last catnapped together and I just missed you so!

Things have been rather hectic for me as of late.  As I am sure you have heard, I was abruptly up rooted, again, and moved off to yet another undisclosed location – this new (if you can call a place that was built before my great, great, great, grandcats were born new…) place they call the Berkeley House.  Now that I have been here a few weeks things are slowly settling in for me.  Oh how I miss small homes…my poor pads ache with pain with all the walking I have to do and my joints are as stiff as the starch Dan puts in his work shirts.  I mean really, have you counted the number of steps in this place?  It’s enough to make a cat want to be pals with a dog – and we all know how much that is NOT going to happen.

Anyhow…you did not come and visit me to listen to me rant so how about I tell you what the dynamic duo has been up to.  First, they threw their first official party on July 4th to celebrate Independence Day.  THEIR independence day for mine is yet to come…FURBAL is currently stuck in congress and doesn’t look like it is going to go very far.  Something to do with overseas conflicts being more important or something.  Anyhow kittens, this party (or drunken brawl as I like to call it) was apparently a smash hit.  By night’s end there were people so full of fun they were even laying around on the floors.  Then again, why not?  Dan sterilized them twice earlier that day.

I was looking out one of the 500 windows, give or take, and noticed that Dan has done a fabulous job outside – and kittens, I don’t use the ‘F’ word lightly.  He has been busy weeding the lawn, putting new seed down and there are more flowerbeds going now than clumps in my litter box!  They even put in two water fountains that sound just wonderful.

Inside MY world is still a work in progress, but improving by the day.  Dave finished painting the kitchen just in time for all new appliances to arrive and since then he has finished painting all the ceilings and has now moved onto the walls starting with the master bedroom upstairs and the one next to it facing the street.  I tell you the man is amazing.  His painting skills are excellent. Which tends to annoy me at times since I cannot seem to keep up on marking walls.  Just as I finish marking a room with my sent (yes, it’s true, Liz will be coming out with her version of PVC soon) Dave comes along and covers it up with paint.  What to do?  What to do?  At the rate things are going I could spend the next three of my nine lives just scenting this darn place! 

So there you have it – things are moving along rather well.  I have even found a nice place to keep out of the way.  I little room, more fitting a princess of my stature that is warm, cozy and quaint.  Dan doesn’t seem to like it and often complains to Dave about me hanging out in the family room fireplace – whatever that means.

Well time for me to go spread some loose fur around the house to see how long it takes Dan to pick it up… Ta Ta for now kitties.

- - -

P.S.  Just as I finished this little note to you, my love, I discovered that the every slow website updat-person has a pic of me that will appear soon!  Can you believe it?!?!?  They have only posted some 200+ photos of toilets and dirty old walls so far and FINALLY a reall piece of art is on its way.  So keep your eyes open, your wiskers feelin and your paws a clicken because my portrait is on its way!


Well HOLY HAIRBALLS kittens!  Is summer really gone?  At this rate it will not be long before Dan rents the semi truck to go pick up his near one million Christmas Santas to place in every conceivable corner of MY house!

We, I must admit I do love the fall.  Watching the leaves gently falling to the ground, watching Dan & Dave frantically trying to get every last dried up leaf or acorn off the grass – it really is rather amusing.

Speaking of watching Dan & Dave they finally took a little break from the destruction of my life and went away for a week.  Not sure where they went but I think there were going to visit a friend by the name of Out East.  Anyhow, their time away gave me ample time to strategically place fur balls in various nooks and crannies of the house for Dan to find later – he just loves playing these little games with me.

I also have to tell you kittens that the places is looking fabulous (and we all know I don’t use that word lightly).  Furniture is popping up faster than I can fill a litter box and painting is looking like nothing less than perfection.  I have been busy almost every night now rubbing my ‘model-like’ face on every item, every corner – one must keep one’s scent alive you know.  It’s a tough job but I figure someday soon they will stop placing new things in this place.  Maybe?

Well, happy autumn kittens and I hope we can have another catnap again very soon.  Oh, I almost forgot - don't forget about my pending legislation as we enter into voting season.  FUR BALL  FUR BALL  FUR BALL  FUR BALL 

Don't I just look fabulous?
TO current diary